DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
"Relationships are about love and respect, not about hitting or hurting. If you or someone you know is in danger. Get Help.." - Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: SVU
What You Should Know...
Safe homes and safe families are the foundation of a safe society. Every family deserves to be free from violence. However, 33 million adults in the U.S. have lived in a home with a partner who used physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions to threaten and control them. This is domestic violence. Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of abusive behavior that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. Abuse includes any behavior used to frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure or wound someone. Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender. It can happen to couples that are married, living together or who are dating. It affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.One in three American women will report physical or sexual abuse by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives. Abusive relationships have good times and bad times. Part of what makes dating and domestic violence so confusing and painful is the fact that love is mixed with abuse. This can make it hard to understand what is happening in the relationship.
Factors that indicate abuse
One person...- Embarrasses the other person with put-downs
- Looks or acts in ways that are frightening
- Tries to control what the other person does, who the other person sees or talks to, or where the other person goes
- Tries to stop the other person from seeing friends or family members
- Tries to take the other person's money or Social Security check
- Makes the other person ask for money or refuses to give the other person money that is supposed to be shared
- Makes all of the decisions
- Threatens to take away or hurt the children
- Prevents the other person from working or attending school
- Acts like the abuse is no big deal, denies doing it, or blames something or someone else, even the person being abused
- Destroys the other person's property or threaten to kill pets
- Intimidates the other person with guns, knives or other weapons
- Shoves, slaps, chokes or hits the other person
- Forces the other person to try and drop charges
- Threatens to commit suicide
- Threatens to kill the other person
If you are being abused, you may...
- Feel less confident about yourself when you're with your partner
- Feel scared or worried about doing or saying "the wrong thing"
- Find yourself changing your behavior out of fear or to avoid a fight
What You Can Do...
Watch out for Yourself and your FriendsDon't be afraid to let a friend know if something is making you uncomfortable or if you are worried about your or your friend's safety. Abuse thrives on isolation. Talking with someone may not change the situation immediately, but over time, supportive conversations can make a big difference in someone finding safety.
Speak Up
If you know someone that abuses their partner, say something. Draw attention to their behavior, tell the abuser what you think, and offer suggestions or solutions.
Make a Call
If you or someone you know is frightened about something in your relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233).
To Know More...
The National Domestic Violence Hotlinewww.ndvh.org
RAINN
www.rainn.org
Joyful Heart Foundation
www.joyfulheartfoundation.org